Monday 28 March 2022

A Clockwork April

I'm a little later publishing this month than planned. Some PC trouble that doesn't amount to a hill o' beans when matched against the world's ongoing march to Ragnarok, but which has proved a colossal pain in the arse nonetheless...

Once again I would like to direct your attention to the wonderful Juli Kearns work on ACO, for example her analysis of the upcoming marina scene can be found here. There's insight aplenty along with some interesting parallels to others work. Highly recommended.

April Summary

1st - 4th: April begins at the marina where Alex issues his response to Georgie and Dim's challenge. 

 After his rule has been re-established



5th - 8th: the Droogs proceed to the Duke of New York snug to nurse their wounds and plan their next adventure. 


9th - 26th: Georgie knows of a health farm in the countryside which is occupied by a lone woman and her cats. 

Alex once again attempts the injured motorist routine

but is forced to scale the wall instead before confonting Mrs Weathers in an encounter that soon turns from comic to ultra violent.


Alex flees but finds his Droogs have vengeance on their mind. He is floored by Dim's milk bottle. The scene comes to an end with sirens approaching and the other droogs nowhere to be seen.



27th - 30th inclusive: Alex has been taken to the Police Station where the officers interrogate him, taking the opportunity to engage in some ultra violence of their own.  

As April showers give way to May flowers, the seedy Mr Deltoid makes another appearance to kick off the month.

April day by day

Note: There are minor differences between the screenplay text and the movie version. I've tried to get the timings correct, but there may be some inaccuracies, particularly where a passage takes place without dialogue.

EXT. FLATBLOCK MARINE – DAY

The gang come out of the flatblock and walk along the marina.

ALEX (V.O.)

As we walked along the flatblock marina, I

was calm on the outside but thinking all

the time,

1st April so now it was to be Georgie the

General, saying what we should do and what

not to do, and Dim as his mindless,

grinning bulldog. But, suddenly, I viddied

that thinking was for the gloopy ones and

that the oomny ones use like inspiration

and what Bog sends, for now it was lovely

music that came to my aid and I viddied at

once what to do. 

2nd There was a window open

with the stereo on.

IN SLOW MOTION

Alex clubs Georgie into water with his stick. Dim swings chain.

3rd Alex ducks. Dim goes into water.

Alex kneels, hands behind back, takes knife from sword stick,

offers hand to help Dim, 4th and slashes Dim when he gets it.

Dim falls back into the water.

Alex laughs.

5th INT. DUKE OF NEW YORK PUB

The four boys sit round table.

ALEX (V.O.)

I had not put into any of Dim's main

cables and so, with the help of a clean

tashtook, the red, red kroovy stopped, and

it did not take long to quieten the two

wounded soldiers, down in the snug in the

Duke of New York. Now they knew who was

Master and Leader. Sheep, thought I, 6th but a

real leader knows always when like to give

and show generous to his unders.

ALEX

Well, now we're back to where we were.

Yes? Just like before and all forgotten?

7th Right, right, right.

ALL BOYS

Right. Right. Right.

ALEX

Well, Georgie Boy. This idea you've got

for tonight. Well, tell us all about it

then.

GEORGIE

8th Not tonight – not this nochy.

ALEX

Come, come, come, Georgie Boy. You're a

big strong chelloveck like us all. We're

not little children, are we, Georgie Boy?

What, then, didst thou in thy mind have?

Confrontation. Georgie backs down.

GEORGIE

9th It's this Health Farm. A bit out of the

town. Isolated. It's owned by this like

very rich ptitsa who lives there with her

cats. The place is shut down for a week

and she's completely on her own, and it's

10th full up with like gold and silver and like

jewels.

ALEX

Tell me more, Georgie Boy.

INT. CATLADY'S HOUSE

Catlady doing yoga exercises.

Room is full of cats. 11th Doorbell rings.

CATLADY

(softly to herself)

Oh shit.

She goes to the door.

EXT. CATLADY'S HOUSE

CATLADY

Who's there?

ALEX

Excuse me, missus, can you please help?

There's been a terrible accident. Can I

please use your telephone for an

ambulance?

CATLADY

12th I'm frightfully sorry. There is a

telephone in the Public House about a mile

down the road. I suggest you use that.

ALEX

But, missus, this is an emergency. It's a

matter of life and death. Me friend's

lying in the middle of the road bleeding

to death.

CATLADY

13th I... I'm very sorry, but I never open. I'm

very sorry but I never open the door to

strangers after dark.

ALEX

Very well, madam. I suppose you can't be

blamed for being suspicious with so many

scoundrels and rouges of the night about.

14th Alex walks away from door, then ducks into the bushes where the

others are hiding. They put on their maskies and follow Alex round

to the rear of the house.

ALEX

Dim, bend down.

(Alex points to an

upstairs window)

15th I'm gonna get in that window and open the

front door.

He climbs up drain-pipe to the bathroom window.

INT. CADLADY'S HOUSE

16th The Catlady enters and dials a number.

CATLADY

17th Hullo, Radlett Police Station. Good

evening. It's Miss Weathers at Woodmere

Health Farm. Look, I'm frightfully sorry

to bother you but something rather odd has

just happened... Well, it's probably

nothing at all, but you never know...

18th Well, a young man rang the bell asking to

use the telephone... He said there had

been some kind of accident. The thing that

caught my attention was what he said – the

words he used, sounded exactly like what

was quoted in the papers this morning in

connection with the writer and his wife

who were assaulted last night... Well,

just a few minutes ago... 19th Well, if you

think that's necessary, but, well, I'm

quite sure he's gone away now. Oh...

alright. Fine. Thank you very much. Thank

you.

She puts phone down, turns and nearly jumps out of her leotard

when she sees Alex in the doorway.

ALEX

Hi, hi, hi there, at last we meet.

CATLADY

20th What the bloody hell d'you think you're

doing?

ALEX

Our brief govereet thru the letter hole

was not, shall we say, satisfactory, yes?

CATLADY

21st Now listen here, you little bastard, just

you turn around and walk out of here the

same way as you came in.

Alex eyes a giant white, fibreglass phallic sculpture on the table

beside him.

ALEX

Naughty, naughty, naughty, you filthy old

soomaka.

CATLADY

No! No! Don't touch it. That's a very

important work of art. 22nd What the bloody

hell do you want?

ALEX

You see, madam, I am part of an

international student's contest to see who

can get the most points for selling

magazines.

CATLADY

Cut the shit, sonny, and get out of here

before you get yourself in some very

serious trouble.

He rocks the giant phallus which has a special weight swinging

inside causing it to swing up and down an eccentric motion.

CATLADY

23rd I told you to leave it alone. Now get out

of here before I throw you out, wretched

slummy bedbug. I'll teach you breaking

into real people's houses. Get out!

24th She grabs up a bust of Beethoven and rushes at Alex. He grabs the

giant phallic sculpture.

Circling, Alex fends off her mad rushes with skilful jabs of the

giant phallus.

She ducks under and clobbers him with the heavy bust of Beethoven.

He goes down, pulling her off balance and they both wind up the

floor.

25th In the struggle, Alex bashes her with the phallus.

26th Distant Police sirens.

He exits.

EXT. CATLDAY'S HOUSE – NIGHT

Alex rushes out. Dim and the others are waiting.

ALEX

27th Come on. Let's go, the police are coming.

DIM

One minoota, droogie.

Dim smashes Alex in the face with a full milk bottle. He goes

down. The others run away, laughing.

ALEX

28th (screaming)

You bastards... bastards. 

INT. POLICE HQ – NIGHT

Inspector takes out cigarette and lights up.

INSPECTOR

Right. Right , Tom, 29th we'll have to our

little friend, Alex, here that we know the

law, too, but that knowing the law isn't

everything.

He nods to Fatneck.

FATNECK

30th That's a nasty cut you've got there,

little Alex. Spoils... all your beauty.

Who gave you that then... eh... eh...

He presses Alex's nose, inflicting great pain. Alex sinks to his

knees.

ALEX

Ow... what's that for, you bastard?

FATNECK

1st May: That was for your lady victim. You ghastly

wretched scoundrel.

Alex grabs his balls.

Alex is beaten by the other Cop.

Inspector exits to outside office where Sergeant sits, sipping a

cup of tea.

Deltoid has just entered.

INSPECTOR

Sergeant.

SERGEANT

Sir.

INSPECTOR

2nd May Ah, good evening, Mr. Deltoid.

DELTOID

Evening, Inspector.

SERGEANT

Would you like your tea now, sir?

INSPECTOR

No, thank you, Sergeant. We'll have it

later. May I have some paper towels,

please.

SERGEANT

Yes, sir.

INSPECTOR

We're interrogating the prisoner now.

Perhaps you'd care to come inside.

DELTOID

3rd May Thank you very much

They move into Interrogation Room.

Alex is on the floor in the corner covered with blood.

DELTOID

Evening, Sergeant. Evening, all. Dear,

dear, this boy does look a mess, doesn't

he? Just look at the state of him.

FATNECK

Love's young nightmare like.

INSPECTOR

Violence makes violence. He resisted his

lawful arrestors.

DELTOID

Well, it's happened, Alex boy, yes. Just

as I thought it would, yes. Dear, dear,

dear. Well, this is the end of the line

for me... the end of the line, yes.

ALEX

It wasn't me, brother, sir. Speak up for

me, sir, for I'm not so bad. I was led on

by the treachery of others, sir.

INSPECTOR

Sings the roof off lovely, he does that.

ALEX

And where are my stinking traitorous

droogs. Get them before the get away. It

was all their idea, brothers. They forced

me to do it. I'm innocent.

DELTOID

You are now a murderer, little Alex. A

murderer, yes.

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